The Inspirational Cripple

There are a number of characteristics, accomplishments or committments that can make a person an inspiration to others. Legitimate activists (the non self aggrandizing kind) can be inspirational to others. The same can be said for almost any profession that doesn’t have it’s roots in something evil. Finding inspiration in a person for their dedication or work is not a problem. What is a problem, however, is inspirationalizing (I’m making it a word) a person who faces an oppression for simply existing with their oppression(s). 

The inspirationalizing of oppressed people is not limited to any one marginalization, but what I’m becoming fed up with is being the Inspirational Cripple(tm). Having a visible disability means that I am fair game for able bodied people to comment on my abilities, activities, movement, and overall existence. Being the Inspirational Cripple, I am expected to graciously accept the false praise given by able bodied people, and if I don’t, I risk losing assistance when and if I need it. 

This often becomes more mentally taxing than attempting to navigate a world that is not accepting of bodies like mine. The fear of disability (which is at the core of inspirationalizing people with disabilities) is pushed on me no matter what I do. Walking to the library? Inspiring! Avoiding a puddle? Worthy of a Lifetime movie! Leaving the house? SO MUCH COURAGE OMGZ. And on, and on and on. 

I am reminded of my marginalization constantly just in the ways I attempt to navigate and perform daily tasks. When I hear that my performing these daily tasks is inspiring to an able bodied person, I am further reinded of my status as Other. I am reminded of how little is expected of me as a result of able bodied people’s failure to understand disability and illness, I am constantly filled with doubt that I *really* belong in college, or if I *really* earned that grade, or if I am awarded something based on merit and skills or based on pity and fear of disability. This stress of being inspirationalized is more than I can deal with some days. 

Forcing fear of disability and general ableism onto a person with disabilities by making them your Inspirational Cripple does not make a person with disabilities feel any beter about their struggle, their experiences or how they are forced to navigate the world. It is stressful, it is harmful and primarily, it is othering. The only function of the Inspirational Cripple is to further other and marginalize people with disabilities. 

Ableism and Punk on the Eve of Fest Weekend

All the cool punx~*~ know, this weekend is Fest 10 and I’m finally getting to pop my Fest cherry. I’ve been looking forward to this since I got my pass over the summer and I have barely been able to think about anything else the past couple of weeks (As the Germans would say, ich bin stoked). But behind all the giddiness is a nagging reminder that I’m going to be at a punk festival with visible and invisible disabilities.

This is not the first show I’m going to ever, but I stopped going to shows a few years ago (the last show I was at was Gaslight Anthem/Murder by Death/The Loved Ones/Broadway Calls in Philly in 09, and nothing since) and while distance played a factor, sure. But primarily, I was fed up with (and at times, frightened by) the amount of ableism in the punk scene. I’m not the first person to write about the various isms in the community (30 seconds on google will point you to people who have written on it more extensively and eloquently than I have) and the response they get is almost always the same: a few messages of support, followed by everyone else trying to prove how not (whatever ism) they are, how “it’s just punk, man” or it escalates to threats of violence. It’s at the point where it’s completely expected.

Since the community is comprised of mostly cis white able bodied men, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, but I am sick of it. I don’t want to avoid going to shows because hardcore bros and pop-punk Nice Guys(tm) tend to be ableist as fuck. I don’t want to worry about accessibility issues, or wonder what response I’ll get when I wallk into a venue with an assistive device. I know posting this puts a target on my back, and I’m sure I’ll get at least one “YOU’RE JUST TRYING TO START SHIT!” but fuck that noise. I want to see bands I love, discover some new ones, and have good times with lovely people this weekend. Am I allowed to do it all while being disabled?

Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert’s Rally to Keep Ableism Alive

Everyone has been anticipating Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert’s Rally to Restore Sanity And/Or Fear. Discussions of false equivalences between left and right extremes have been a major talking point, but something that few outside the PWD community have talked about is the disgusting ableism surrounding this event.

Labeling conservatives as “crazy” or “insane” is an old liberal favourite. This was the entire basis of Jon Stewart’s part of the rally–that people who he disagrees with, or people who are passionate are mentally ill and we need to get rid of those silly crazy people.

This is an old tactic that is used in almost every arena to try and discredit someone they disagree with. An idea or person is labeled as crazy and they are almost automatically dismissed. When used this way, it is ableist and harms people with mental disabilities. “Crazy” and “Insane” are words used to describe people with mental disabilities. When someone uses these words in a negative context, to describe a person or idea they disagree with, to put someone down, or to try and make some political point, it is ableist and it harms people with mental disabilities.

Whether or not Stewart and Colbert intended to harm anyone isn’t the point here. Intent doesn’t matter when exercising an -ism, it hurts all the same.

You Aren’t A Grammar Nazi, You’re an Asshole

A lot of people like to claim the title of “Grammar Nazi” and if you are over the age of 16, you need to stop.

I’m not even going to discuss how horrible and harmful it is to just throw around the Nazi label as if it means nothing, but instead I’m going to focus and the ableism behind the people who tout themselves as such.

As I’ve mentioned here numerous times, I’m legally blind. And, as I’m sure you’ve noticed, I make a lot of typos. A whole lot. Keeping in line with my post from Wednesday, people like to make assumptions on my intelligence, or my laziness based on how many typos they see. “I judge you based on your spelling.” is something I’ve seen a lot of my facebook friends like. These are the kinds of people who, in an argument will notice one spelling error and jump on the person for it instead of having a valid argument. For people with visual disabilities or dyslexia, this is something we hate. We spend an incredible amount of time going over status updates, blog posts, papers or just general assignments to weed out the errors, and trust me when I say that it is literally impossible to catch them all. It has nothing to do with intellect or competence, it is about disability.

People with disabilities especially people nwith learning disabilities) are constantly made to feel as if we are intellectually lesser than the able bodied community. Calling out spelling errors and justifying it with “Oh, I’m just a total grammar nazi” only reinforces the ableist stereotype that brings direct harm to us.

You Can’t See My Pain

You can’t see me taking the elevator to go up one flight because my ankles hurt., or my depth perception is bad, or because I forgot my cane today. Instead, you see a fat person who is just being lazy.

You don’t see me skipping school because it hurts too much to move. You see someone who just doesn’t wanna do her schoolwork.

You don’t see me using my laptop to take notes in class because I can’t hold a pen for very long. You see someone who wants to screw around on Facebook.

You don’t see me not fulfilling gym or science requirements because schools don’t know how to make classes adaptive to my visual or physical needs. You just see someone who doesn’t want to exercise or put any work in.

You don’t see my fat being a result of a decade of steroid use. You see someone who eats junk food all the time and doesn’t exercise.

You don’t see me not acknowledging your wave or smile from across the room because I can’t see it. You see someone who is rude.

You don’t see me getting turned down at every job interview because employers can’t stop staring at my thick glasses. You see someone who just wants to sit at home collecting government money.

You don’t see me not talking about disability in class because I’m fraid of being silenced again. You see someone who doesn’t care about the assignment.

You don’t see me taking the bus to go six blocks because it’s damp and my joints hurt. You see someone who simply doesn’t want to move.

I have Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis, Fibromyalgia and I am legally blind as a result of Uvietis. And unless you see me using an assistive device, you cannot see these things. You can’t see my pain or my struggle, so you choose to make assumptions based on how I look instead. Just because you can’t see it doesn’t mean it isn’t there.

It’s Invisible Illness Week!

Today marks the beginning of National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week. These awareness day/week/month things tend to be problematic in and of itself, but I plan to write for it in the hope that it will spark some conversation. You can look forward to a new post every day this week (no, really!) about my life with invisible illnesses and everything related. If anyone would like to submit a guest post please let me know via email or Twitter.

Are you excited? I know I am!

Glenn Beck and Disability

I am not a happy camper.

I have been forced to make a post about Glenn Beck.

Over the weekend, Glenn Beck announced that he had macular dysfunction and one day, he could lose his vision someday. Immediately following this announcement came the accusations that he’s faking, and of course, the jokes.

“He’s probably faking!” “His blackboard’s gonna be funny know!” “He once said something bad about blind people so it’s okay!” “How will he know how to cry on cue if he can’t read the cards?!”

This shit needs to stop. Right now.

These jokes and accusations don’t just mock Glenn Beck, it hurts blind people like me. I have had to endure jokes and accusations that I was “faking it” my entire life. I have been denied services, called names, been purposely tripped, all because people thought I was lying about my blindness, or because someone wanted to make a joke.

Accusing Glenn Beck of faking his visual impairment without solid, concrete evidence hurts not only blind people, but all people with disabilities, visible and invisible. We are constantly questioned about our pain and our abilities by everyone, from the government agencies that are supposed to help us, to retail employees who give us the sideye when we use the scooters. This directly results from jokes and accusations of lying.

If you consider yourself a progressive person, you need to think long and hard before you make another comment on this story. Think about the real people that you are hurting with your words.

Public Schools and Disability Do Not Mix

High School can be a difficult time for anyone. It’s made exponentially more difficult for anyone who deviates from the so-called typical student.

My 14 year old sister and I both have Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis. I was not present for most of high school and part of middle school because my schools were unwilling to accommodate my visual and physical disabilities. There were a couple of teachers who failed me because I was physically unable to do the work, and it continues to affect my performance now in college. I was hoping my sister would not have to follow the same path I was forced down, but I can see it’s already happening.

I have not taken gym since elementary school, since I had many eye surgeries in that time and any head trauma could have caused serious problems. The same accommodations have not been provided for my sister. She is instructed to inform her gym teacher when she is in a flare, or when she is in pain to excuse her from gym, thereby granting ableist educators even greater power over a disabled student. If they choose to believe her, she sits on the sidelines for class, but if the decide to exercise their power, she is forced to participate and endure 43 minutes of excruciating pain, or take an F for the day.

People with invisible disabilities are often questioned aas to whether or not they’re really disabled. Because if you aren’t in a wheelchair, or wear sunglasses and use a cane, you’re just lying for the attention. When it comes to invisible physical disabilities that involve chronic pain, such as JRA, it is often assumed that we are just lazy people.

In the state of New Jersey, one is required to complete four years of gym in order to graduate high school, unless there is a medical condition preventing them from doing so. I was prohibited from participating in gym, so I was exempt. However, my sister has that special provision saying she can participate, except when she’s in pain. She is currently failing gym for the year, because her ableist gym teacher wants her to “work through the pain.”

That’s right. When the nurse wraps her angle in bandages and puts ice on it, her gym teacher (who apparently moonlights as a Pediatric Rheumatologist) feels it is important for her to play kickball, instead of resting her ankle. This is not only ableist, but also a case of disability policing. The teacher in question walks with a cane and uses a wheelchair at times. But I guess since Arianna does not use an assistive device, her illness is less legitimate.

Failing a class in high school can have a terrible affect on one’s future prospects. Students with disabilities are at a greater risk for failing classes because teachers are a product of their society. Whether you’re a trans girl or boy, a child of colour, poor, or in this case, a student with disabilities, you will not be allowed to thrive and grow within the confines of the public school system.